Back together again... How do I work this thing?

Well well well, look what we have here! It has been a long and lonely time without you. In one hand life has gone on, as if you never existed. In the other, life has felt more empty without you in my life every day. You do realise I am talking about you, dear blog, dear commentor, dear internet! How I have missed my lonely nights cowering over my computer keyboard typing some lame bullshit that when you read it back 5 years later it seems so self centred and annoying. How annoying am I? fucking annoying thats how much!

So a fair few of us lucky ones have found each other again. Igniting a fire of hope, joy, laughter and well, community is how I put it, of our past. We have been catching up on old times, trying to remember who everyone is and their website. Their screen names. The friendly banter you'd give each other. I have missed it. I have missed feeling like I belong somewhere.

Well, we can only wait and see if we continue this, or if it is just a fad that will fade out like it once did before. Mine faded out when our secret lives weren't special anymore. They weren't a secret. Everyone got the internet and everyone was on the internet! we weren't a few cool ones anymore. But hey! you look at us banning together now, we are still the cool ones! Pioneers of the e/n and the camgirl scene!

You get that on the big jobs

It's amazing just how alone you can feel sometimes.

I feel extremely alone right now...

These moments

Sunny, Sunday afternoons at home are my favourite. I only get them twice a month, so I cherish them when I can.

I've perfected my white chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookies. It's taken me a couple of months now, but finally after following instructions exactly, they are starting to turn out deliciously. You really can notice the difference from when you use butter to when you use margarine. I use whatever it is that's in my fridge.

It's funny how much your life and values change when you move out of home, live in your own space and connect on a new level with your partner. I find I really think more about what to cook, and wanting to spoil Jimmy - Unless he doesn't come home early... Then I cook nothing for dinner and tell him I hate to cook something and leave it in the microwave for him to have later.

This week we haven't had a home cooked meal to share all week. It's been one of those crazy times lately. My work is very long hours at the moment. His are school hours with a follow up at the pub afterwords.

I just don't know how women out there can change their man for the better? I've tried a few different ways to encourage him not to waste his money so much on the social life. Teaching him to sort his money out into all the bills he needs to pay, and most of the time there's nothing left over for him to waste. But that's lucky if he even has work that week, and if he does - does he even get paid on time? not usually.

I'm looking forward to a few weeks off work soon. Time to wind down and relax before the Christmas season is upon us. I really wanted to save up and have a few days away with Jim by ourselves. Left see if I can get him to save for that too. Sometimes I think how nice it would be just to have that money to waste again. I still live my life as though I don't have bills to pay, and so far I still have money in the bank. I know I need to settle myself down a little bit before it's too late and I can't afford the dreams I have for the future.

And now the sun has vanished and my afternoon is coming to an end. It just doesn't last long enough to enjoy.

This ones for Mojo

I've got no funky photos or words to say, so here are some boring fire shots from a couple of months ago. The boys were too lazy to cut the wood up into smaller bits, so they chucked the whole things in... interesting. Was hard to stand close to the fire due to the fact you didn't know when or if the logs would break off and hit you on the head :)








Next time I clean my house I might take some inside photos. Btw I'm living in my duplex now, encase some of you didn't know ;) good times!

Building my first home

So this is the duplex that I am building. It's slowly coming along, and I hear the roof is now on so I need to get an updated photo this afternoon.

Just thought I'd show yas what I've been up to.... :)

We had a break away from life

Work has been stressing me out for the past 2 months and it's been taking a major toll on my life. I notice that my patience goes, my tollerance, my smile. You are so drained from stress and people harassing you, that you forget who you are and how you react to situations.

I took my boyfriend away for the weekend and we went and stayed in a little dodgy cabin at a caravan park in a small tiny beach town down south, and oh my fucking god did I need that!

The atmosphere there was so laid back and cruisy, there was hardly any traffic so when we'd miss a turn or see something we wanted to go back and have a look at, we'd just do a u-turn in the middle of the road and not even have to look for other cars.

We tried to catch the big fish while we were there but all we could catch were tiny bait fish and a massive stingray that took Jimmy about half an hour to pull into shore. We were hoping it was going to be a big jewfish, but we knew it'd probably would of been a stingray. Still the fight to get him in was huge!

It was nice just spending some alone time with him too. I think we were both getting stressed out from our big work loads that we hadn't taken the time to spend some real "quality" time together. We'd always be together on the weekends, but there was always other people with us, and this time it was nice to just be by ourselves.

It's friday again and I'm just waiting for him to get off work so that I can see him. I know he is having a hard time right now and I just really want to be able to help him and let him know that I am here whenever he needs me. I'm going to give him an awesome massage to help him unwind. Hurry up 5pm!

Paris and life

Harold kindly sent me an email which reminded me about my duties of writing here. I have been forgetting about this place a little more every day. The world of Facebook and MySpace just ruins the tradition that us old pioneers once had. I wonder what the point is in making a website anymore? what is the point in making layouts, and changing them every month or year? Everything is taken over by these templated webpages. And look, I have become so jaded in my creativity that I decided to just give up and use blogger... what am I doing! My years studying webdesign/development has gone down the drain. All I know now is what I knew before that - retail. How to make a customer feel valued. And although I do feel that is an important part of who I am and what I guess I am discovering that I do possibly enjoy my job. I enjoy making people happy, and I get to do that on a daily basis, but I also get stressed out on a daily basis, and yelled at by fucked up retarded angry people.

So, what was the point of me even studying webdesign in the first place? I can come up with 5 good reasons, and they are my 5 friends that I made during those years. I miss not being able to hang out with them. Drinking beer on the patio until midnight. Laughing around the fire in the backyard. The constant skipping classes to goto the pub and then our teacher meeting us there. And any excuse we could think of to have a party.

We had such high hopes of making it all together. Starting our freelance business and continuing those parties for years to come. But some of us got jobs, and the rest of us needed money. Reality sets in.


I have about 1000 photos from my trip. My friends have all the funny ones of me, so I'm going to get their copies soon and sift through them all. I've just put up a couple of my favourite funny ones from Paris. I'll have to try and do some more posts with my funny photos from Rome, Ireland and London.

My thoughts on Paris was that is was really pretty, everyone was nice except one guy that rolled his eyes at me! grr. There was a lot of history there and very surreal surroundings, but other than that is was a down right dirty place and smelt like utter piss and shit. So to you, France, please clean up your cities!

I'm glad to be home. I'm glad I went. And Jimmy still loves me, so all is good in the world of Samantha right now. I've just gotten home from a weekend away camping with Jimmy and some mates. Had a really nice time and I'm learning to be a good backseat motorbike rider. One day I'll work up the courage to let Jimmy teach me how to ride his bike. I plan on eventually being able to ride by myself so I can go on these cross country rides they do when normally I'd be stuck at camp twiddling my thumbs :)