For Harold's sake lets try blogger in order to fix the stupid comments bug from that other news script I was using.....
So how is this? a little bit better than that other shit?
What to write now... Christ, I have nothing!
I went away for the weekend with my boyfriend to visit some mates for a 21st birthday party. He was a bit short tempered when he picked me up because his boss just stuffed him around for a couple of hours, so I got to experience his emotions...
The trip was 5 hours of driving, and I think we were lucky if we had spoken more than 20 words to each other. I was all excited about the weekend because I was going to spend it with him, but I probably would of been better off if I hadn't of gone.
That night he didn't cuddle me at all, and the next morning when his mate woke us up he got straight out of bed and didn't even let me know or give me a kiss of the forehead. I felt pretty alone at this point so I was finding it hard to connect with him and talk to him, so I spent the day just hanging with the mate's girlfriend and baby, and we hardly said a word to each other. Even when the boys all got in the car to go buy some breakfast for themselves and the other girlfriend, I didn't even get asked by him if I wanted anything. It was only that the other guys asked me if I wanted anything. I just said whatever...
Eventually we got back to speaking terms, but I was still a little broken from before. That night we went to the local tavern for the party. I followed him around mostly, but there were times he'd walk off and not let me know, so I'd just stay there by myself. I tried talking with the family members, but it was so fucking cold all I wanted to do was find somewhere warm and curl up. When we were leaving he told me to take the next ride home because he was going to stay there and get really drunk. So I took the next car, but he came about 10 minutes later. I just hung out in the back yard with some others huddled around a nice fire. The rest of the night was about the same kind of games. He'd go somewhere without telling me, I'd follow, when I found him, he'd go back to somewhere else and blah blah blah.
I was really feeling like shit so I decided to goto bed. He came and tucked me in. About 5 minutes later the young bloke passed out on the floor of the room I was in vomited everywhere. I went and got help, but the room smelt so bad I went back outside and huddled around the fire in my pj's. I had a good time after that talking with my boyfriend and this other guy for a couple of hours. I accidentally walked in on the guy going to the toilet. Was so embarrassing!
The other mate was so kind to go and clean up the room and mask the smell of vomit for me so that I could goto sleep. He was really nice and I tried to thank him as best I could, but I get really shy around people I don't know well, and I'm not good with showing them physical or serious affection/appreciation. So I was like "Ahh you're a legend mate! thanks for that" and when I went to bed I looked out the window at him and gave him a thumbs up! hah. Thats how bogan I am.
The whole night I couldn't sleep. I was half awake and half asleep as I was subconsciously waiting for my boyfriend to come to bed, but I should know better by now that he doesn't come to bed when we are at one of these parties. I saw the sun rise, and soon after I went out to the kitchen to see what they were all doing - nothing much as usual. So back to bed I went. One of the mates came in to say something to me and see if I was pissed off, which I wasn't really. But he told me he'd get up my boyfriend and mate him come in there. When my boyfriend didn't come in I got a bit sad and had a cry as you may recall from a previous post I did about when I went to this mate's house months ago and I had a cry in the night. Well I had a bit of a cry cos I was feeling reeealy down by this point of the weekend. Lack of sleep and lack of physical and emotion contact between myself and my boyfriend. 15 minutes later he comes in and lays next to me giving me a hug. Being a stupid girl I asked him what he was doing and told him he didn't want to be there. But he stayed and we had a good sleep for about 4 hours before we woke up and it was repeated over and over again that he wasn't going to be driving us home, it was my job!
So when we finally left I drove us out of town (Pretty shitty I must add. The wind was strong and my driving skills are crap) while he slept his poor little head off. After about 3 hours I was getting tired and sore. My concentration was poor and I was loosing interest and heart in this driving. He took over thank god and instantly I felt so much more awake and alive.
I was really hoping he'd pull into our secret make out spot so we could have some alone time together ;) but he didn't.
We got back to my house and he told me he'd stay the night earlier that day, so I was really hoping he wouldn't let me down by changing his mind - he didn't. We watched some tv for a little bit, we sat there together on the couch. He lent on me and touched my leg just like I was wishing for him to do and it felt normal, it felt nice. We went to bed and we were both so fucked from the night before and the whole weekend that we kind of just passed out.
In one way I was sad that there was no physical contact, but in another way I was glad because I was so stuffed. I can't believe I went the whole weekend without raping him. I wanted to the first minute I saw him when he arrived at my house. I wanted to kiss him and hug him, but I didn't because my mother had come around the corner to say goodbye. I think because I didn't take that opportunity straight away when we first met up to kiss him, that this is why the whole weekend there was no contact between us and the feeling was just weird.
It's going to take until next time I see him before this will resolve itself. It usually does. We always have one really awesome week together, and then one really weird week where I feel like he doesn't love me, even though I know that he does :)
That post will keep yas going for awhile now won't it ;D
